grieving

It's been over five months since G died. And most of the time I'm fine, but I have a picture of her over my desk at work and sometimes I just sit and stare at it for a few minutes. I rarely cry then, although it always feels like my heart is breaking. But then there are nights like tonight when I'm cleaning up my dresser and I run across the notes I made for when I was going to speak at her memorial, and something just breaks and I end up crouched on the floor crying my heart out. I know it gets easier, but tonight it certainly doesn't feel that way.